kenapa

knp..?knp hidup ku sentiasa menerima begini..?adakah hati ku busuk untuk mendapat layanan hidup yang adil..?mengapa..?apabila kau beritahu ku yg suatu hari kau akan meninggalkan ku..hati ku bagi disirat dgn pisau beracun...apakah nilai hidup aku..?kau rela meneruskan hidup mu dgn lelaki lain tetapi bukan diriku..apa yg kurang lagi untuk aku lakukan..?kenapa hidup ini tidak adil..?aku lebih rela menukar nyawa kepada insan yg dalam ambang kematian tetapi mempunyai hubungan cinta yg bahagia.dari meneruskan hidup begini..aku hanya nampakkan kematian..tiada makna..ku teruskan hidup ini..tanpa kasih sayang yg jati...aku sudah pasrah dengan hidup yg penuh dengan ketidak adilan ini..ku menunggu nyawa ku pulang...adil kah hati ku ini yg sekian lama luka,di curah dengan racun..?adilkah dimana insan yg lebih kejam dari ku dapat menrima cinta yg tulus..?adilkah..?

sayang..

sayang..I love you..
only you...

in my mind..

Fear..
I fear my past rewinds..
I fear my heart breaks..
I fear my love leave me..
The fear that makes me want to cry..

I pray all this will never happen..

....

past few days had been interesting..and unexpected..i feel happy n worry at the same time..
yesterday me and her ,along with ujang and mira when for a movie at mp.i spend my time with her as there is no one else in my life.she's like an angel thru my eyes..and yesterday is the day we walk holding hands together.I felt happy that she finally show me some love.I'm in love again

but the feelings quickly subside when she told me that next 2 weeks,one of her friend is coming to melaka and asking her out.I'm kind of wondering who could this person be..she trying to keep quiet as possible about this guy..then the past questions about her rose in my mind again...

right now all I want is she to be faithful..and honest that she love me and only me...

and for my part...I'm trying to think positive..and lay my trust on her..for the time being..

I pray that you will not do anything that will break my heart again,my love...because you're the only one that I love now..

hmmm

well,what can i post in my blog?
my personal life?my secrets?
heh,i might just post anything,but all depends on my mood I say..
my current mood is mixed up..
I dont know what is running up there in my head.but in my heart,its restless..I dont know why there's this feelings..thoughts..
what thoughts and feelings?
the thoughts of unfaithful..betray..back-stab..the thoughts that lead me in confusion..
why?I might just leave all this but I can feel them straight from my guts..some times they're unbearable..but all this is not of me..but of a significant other..
what can I do..?
is that person really what I think of..
I love that person..but I dont know if she love me back..
I tried so much,do my best for everything..
I just want this...feelings to go away...

hola

hi,this my blog.new one from my previous in livejournal.